Feb 17 2010

An Olympic sized Disaster?

Dear Whiny Olympic Spectators:

Are you surprised that Vancouver is not a frozen tundra? Are you upset at the 15 degree sunny weather in February? Are you feeling a little bit gypped that your standing room only tickets were refunded because of the rain last weekend?

Who can you blame for this weather? Isn’t it obvious? The city of Vancouver is clearly to blame. Obviously, they were not sacrificing enough fattened calves to the snow gods over the past seven years. Obviously everyone knew seven years ago, when Vancouver was declared the 2010 host, that this would end up being the mildest February in 100 years. Obviously John Furlong, CEO of VANOC (AKA god) should have made a reservation for snow clouds, instead of calling them last minute.


And I don’t know why we, The Province of British Columbia, have not worked harder to make it snow. Personally, I’ve been doing the snow dance in my back yard every day. I know–I should have done it twice a day to make up for any BC’ers who might have been lazy. I guess I just had more faith in my province to do their part to bring the snow.

Oh World, on behalf of my Province and Country–I am so sorry.

I am sorry that Canada is incapable of being a Frozen Wonderland whenever we want it to be.

I am sorry that you have travelled so far to be in Vancouver (one of the most beautiful places on the freaking earth) and have to endure this mild sunny weather.

And I am also so sorry that you can not suck it up and stop acting like a 2 year old.

I have a great idea.

Why not, instead of complaining about the weather conditions, you just sit back and enjoy what Vancouver has to offer? We have some of the top restaurants in the world. Why not try Vij’s Indian Fusion Cuisine just off of Granville on 11th Ave? Feeling like seafood? Try Blue Water Cafe + Raw Bar in Yaletown. If you just want a cup of coffee and happen to be on Main St., go to JJ Bean. Best ever.

The Vancouver Art Gallery is fantastic. Stanley Park is beautiful. Main Street has some of the coolest vintage and second hand shops. Or, you could just stand and look at the mountains. They are pretty awesome.

The world will not end if the Olympics don’t occur exactly as planned. I promise. I have it in writing from John Furlong (see above, “god”) that he will not destroy the planet because of trouble at the Olympics.

So rest easy, Olympic Spectators. Your in a beautiful city. Why not enjoy it.